The day I wrote my first blog entry I had already started my lifestyle change a week before. At that time I weighed 206. As of this morning I was down to 202. It would really encouraging to be below 200 by the time January 1st rolls around. However, with Christmas parties and special treats being dropped off at the office it would not surprise me if I didn’t reach that goal but I will try nonetheless.

I have also not started exercising yet. I do realize I will see better and more consistent results when I begin that. Shawn and I found a treadmill on Craigslist and are heading to Crawfordsville on Saturday to see if it’s a good deal or not. We also signed up for the Indianapolis Mini-Marathon so the treadmill will be a great help for both of us in getting prepared for the race during the winter months.

I wanted to give a special shout out to the person who sent me the encouraging email this morning and about their own personal struggles with food (and for the reminder about my goal of blogging twice a week). It feels good to know that I’m not alone in this. Also, thank you to everyone who has made comments on here and on Facebook. You guys are the best.

Or do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit within you, whom you have from God? You are not your own, for you were bought with a price. So glorify God in your body. ~1 Corinthians 6:19-20 (ESV)

I read this verse a few days ago and like many times I read the Bible certain verses hit me differently at different times in my life. I fill my temple with garbage. It’s no place for a Holy Spirit to dwell. Besides admitting things like currently wearing a size 16/18 snuggly I’m simply not healthy. I love to eat. I’m also an emotional eater. Sad, happy or bored and you’ll find me at the fast food line or sticking my head in the refrigerator.

There’s the weight part and now the God part. I haven’t felt God for quite some time now. The still, quiet voice? Nope, not a word. Lately I’ve been very stubborn and unforgiving of others so it’s not a huge mystery of why I haven’t felt Him. There are other things going on in my life that I hope to share on here too.

My plan is to blog at least twice a week and give an update on what’s going on and try to be as real as possible without embarrassing myself.

You can help me by making comments and giving advice. Even if it’s just pointing out that you are embarrassed for me.

I abhor exercise…that is until recently. A friend of mine had become a Zumba instructor. She had sent emails letting people know the location of the classes, prices and that it was “exercise in disguise”…whateva! I was born at night but it wasn’t last night!

Another friend of mine had actually went to a few of the classes and loved it. I of course have the gift of skepticism and thought it had to be too good to be true. We sat around one night with another friend who had not attended any Zumba classes and we all agreed that we needed to exercise because like everyone else we weren’t getting any younger or skinnier. So we decided to go to our very first class that next Monday.

To be honest I almost canceled on her. I do not function well on the first day of the work week and knew I would be tired by the end of the day. I also had some anxiety thinking that it would be all skinny chicks in the class and I have little coordination skills and even less rhythm. She had instant messaged me that day and told me not to cancel on her which I didn’t. 

The class lasted one hour. At one point in my life I would stay on a treadmill for that amount of time and it would absolutely kill me. I would have a television in my face and techno music in my ears…didn’t help.

In the Zumba class the time flew by. There were women of all ages and sizes and none of them at the end of class told me they noticed I was uncoordinated or that I had no rhythm. We all had one goal in mind and that was to have a good time and to lose some weight in the process. You can’t ask much more than that when it comes to living a healthy lifestyle.

I go to my third class tomorrow and unlike other cardio exercises I’ve tried there is no dread involved with this. Well, except for rolling out of bed early on a day off!

Let love be genuine; hate what is evil, hold fast to what is good; love one another with brotherly affection; outdo one another in showing honor. Never flag in zeal, be aglow with the Spirit, serve the Lord. Rejoice in your hope, be patient in tribulation, be constant in prayer. Contribute to the needs of the saints, practice hospitality.- (Romans 12:9-13, RSV)

Just a verse I wanted to share with you.

Thoughts?

I have not been this sick in awhile. At one point  today I was laying on the couch and began to feel sorry for myself and tears welled up in my eyes. I saw my cell phone laying next to me and although there was nothing she could do for me at the time I called none other than my mother and began sobbing to her. Just hearing her voice made me feel just a little bit better.

Reading God’s word can make me feel this way sometimes. I’ll read something that cuts or hurts or is so raw I can’t stomach myself. I’ll think of how poorly I reacted to a certain situation or my ever-demanding selfishness and think of all of the sins that I have committed and I want to scream “How can He love….this.” But then I hear it…that small gentle voice as sweet as honey…and I start to feel just a little bit better.

During this busy time I have been wanting to tell people who are used to me being relaxed and a little witty… “Look, I don’t have time to be witty”….”wit is not on my list of things to do today.” It’s gotten to the point where I have to schedule lazy time. “Sorry, Bob, I can’t meet you for lunch I’m booked with lazy at that same time.”

Not been reading the B-I-B-L-E as much either (insert excuse here). Don’t want to get into that habit. So I need to schedule it or I know myself well enough that I won’t do it and no one wants to see fake Christian Wendy again…I just shivered.

So why am I bringing this up? Well, I didn’t realize it till recently. I always knew I felt more comfortable with people who had a certain personality. Those who are quick to make fun of me and even more of themselves. Someone who can point out something obsessive that I do or say and make a joke out of it. What that says to me is that they realize a “flaw” that I have and they love me anyway.

I’m just putting it out there….so I’m ending with a line from Seinfeld taken from “The Chinese Restaurant” episode: “I can’t go to a bad movie by myself. What, am I gonna make sarcastic remarks to strangers?”….

5-7 The whole point of what we’re urging is simply love—love uncontaminated by self-interest and counterfeit faith, a life open to God. Those who fail to keep to this point soon wander off into cul-de-sacs of gossip. They set themselves up as experts on religious issues, but haven’t the remotest idea of what they’re holding forth with such imposing eloquence.

But what these verses are saying is exactly what I am not doing. My love can be contaminated, self-fulfilled, counterfeit, and closed to God.

I don’t want to love the person who has hurt me, is rude to me, lied to me, misled me. I want them to know how wrong they are and that this time they have messed with the wrong lady. I want an apology and sweet revenge and for them to suffer and to come crawling on their knees asking for my forgiveness. Let me check my schedule…ding…not giving out forgiveness till Wednesday…NEXT!

That’s just it. It’s not about me. It’s about Jesus. Loving others despite what they do to me is exactly who He is. For my life to reflect Christ I need to love….

Love, love, love, love, love, love, love, love, love.
There's nothing you can do that can't be done.
Nothing you can sing that can't be sung.
Nothing you can say but you can learn how to play the game
It's easy.
There's nothing you can make that can't be made.
No one you can save that can't be saved.
Nothing you can do but you can learn how to be in time
It's easy.
All you need is love, all you need is love,
All you need is love, love, love is all you need.
Love, love, love, love, love, love, love, love, love.
All you need is love, all you need is love,
All you need is love, love, love is all you need.
There's nothing you can know that isn't known.
Nothing you can see that isn't shown.
Nowhere you can be that isn't where you're meant to be.
It's easy.
All you need is love, all you need is love,
All you need is love, love, love is all you need.
All you need is love (all together now)
All you need is love (everybody)
All you need is love, love, love is all you need.