“Honesty is such a lonely word.
Everyone is so untrue.
Honesty is hardly ever heard.
And mostly what I need from you.”

Today I’m done lying to myself, my friends and (gulp) my family. Am I going to be mean to my fellow human being…no. Am I going to lose people I thought loved me…likely. Am I going to be free…definitely.  You might ask if I think this will be easy…absolutely not.

So why this change of heart or head? Well, I never want to be in a position where people are not sure where I am coming from. You deserve this! What kind of friend would I be if I was to think one way and say absolutely the opposite out my mouth? I deserve this! To hear it from people who are my friend and have at least a shred of respect for me. Please don’t let my dirty look consume you and then fester…I owe you an explanation even if it was just me wondering why the lights have to be so darn bright.

Did I walk past and you thought I was snubbing you? Tell me! I was probably focused on something and didn’t even realize you were there. Do I have bad breath? For goodness sake lay it on me string bean! Did my kid threaten your toddler? Well that’s not right…I’ll get right on that.

Why do I want to lose weight? For health benefits? That’s what I tell people and oh and I may have mentioned it to myself somewhere along the way…but the simple fact is I want to look hot, feel good about myself, and not have to shop in the “other” section of the clothing store. I hate having to pay extra moolah because the manufacturer had to use another bolt of cloth to cover my ever increasing self. The health benefits are a given and I am choosing that approach when losing  weight but that is not what ultimately puts me on the treadmill or helps me to choose the salad over a big ol’ cheeseburger. I already feel the tension starting to be released from my shoulders….

And finally…

The primary cause of stress, depression and anger is,”living in a story and lying to maintain it” (Radical Honesty) How’s that one slap ya? I still feel the burn because (breathing in to yell) THAT’S EXACTLY WHAT I AM DOING!

How about you? Honestly.

The house is clean, the sound of the dryer with the last load of laundry brings joy to my ears, and sitting in the comfy chair…ahh. These are the little things that make me happy. I feel more balanced when my house is clean. Kind of like when you have a good hair day…”go ahead pull me over Mr. Officer…I look fantastic!”

I ate a white chocolate Easter cross…there has to be something wrong with that. A bunny, yes, but a cross…what was I thinking? I know! There were no white chocolate bunnies at the Walgreens on Easter!! But watch out…when I get a craving…nothing can hold me back. The thought of whatever I want (which could be anywhere from green bean casserole to candy corn) consumes me until it must be conquered. How do I deal with real emergencies? Not so well when I think that my craving is something that should be labeled STAT!

I want to be healthier, exercise, and have some type of balance in my life. Does that take reading a book? Sticking with just the bible? A state of mind? That is what we shall find out. Eating is way more than just nutrition and supplying my body with fuel. Food comforts me, does not judge, taste good and something that I can see. I need to find other ways of doing these very things.

Won’t you join me on this journey…