lessWendy

What is 206? An even number, the area code of Seattle, WA, name of a club in Wisconsin, the school district of Alexandria, MN and my current weight. When I began this blog I was another even number 210. If you’re superior in math like me you will know that comes to a total weight loss of 4 pounds.

A few simple things I have done is drink more water, limit the number of the lattes I drink, and incorporate more salads into my diet. So what have I not done that could of helped is you got it…exercise. I almost forgot how to type the word let alone do it. So what does it take? Dedication? Motivation? How do I go from hating it to loving it?

So what about you? Do you hate exercise but do it anyway? How do you do that?

I hate it. Doesn’t matter if it’s good or bad. It puts a knot in my stomach and makes me want to say really bad words that I don’t use anymore…or as much.

It comes to the point where I have to grieve over all the old stuff. Friendships ending or changing, a new work schedule, getting a new car, moving into a new house, an old restaurant closing, my bed in a new position. I try to be the type of person who is smooth like butta but I’m actually hard like margarine.

So how am I to deal efficiently with change? Accept it. Easy huh? Well as soon as that happens it tends to get easier. Most of time I can look back on a situation and know that if the change had not occurred then something good would not have happened. Unfortunately, that never happens soon enough.

When I first hear of a change I want to resist it and figure out how to keep it from happening. I obsess over it and want to have meetings with people who the change effects and hopefully those in the meeting will agree with me that IT SUCKS! But you know what…the change still happens.

I’m going through a change right now and it does suck. I want to go to safe places and mourn the change and stay with safe people that love and accept me for who I am. At the same time I know that I have to give this to God and let him have the control that I want but know that I don’t have.

So, pray for me and the others and know that we are one in Christ and will ultimately grow stronger through it and that it will prepare us for the next change to come.

I’m ok…you’re ok…these people are not…

Sabotage: Treacherous action to defeat or hinder a cause or an endeavor; deliberate subversion. I do it every time. I don’t have a plan of what I am going to eat for the day and I go into this mindless funk.  I got up this morning and ate some sugary cereal. There is something about the whole sugar thing in the a.m. that never puts me in the right state of mind. I also had the opportunity to spend time at a BBQ with some of my wonderful friends and I ate 2 platefuls of food and I know at least 4 kinds of desserts.

So, somehow I got to change it. Am I just not there yet as far as my change in lifestyle? Do I not want it bad enough? Do I pray about it? I know it has to be a one day at a time kind of thing but I want to lose the weight yesterday. I really want to choose an egg white omelet over a bowl of Sugar Frosted Flakes. So why do I choose Tony the Tiger? Choosing in my mind is not the same as doing by my hand I suppose.

So here is what I am doing tomorrow:

1.  Getting up…at some point.

2.  Eating a bowl of oatmeal with whole wheat toast.

3.  Cleaning the house.

4.  Ironing the clothes…that’s how I roll.

5.  Getting on that @*!& treadmill for at least 45 minutes.

6.  Eat salad with all the goodies for lunch.

7.  Drink 64 oz of water.

8.  Eat one helping of dinner.

Here is where you come in…ask me how my day was. If I kept with my plan or did I sabotage it?

If you want to truly understand something, try to change it. 

~Kurt Lewin

Pleasure? Agony? Bliss? Not exactly, but I was on the treadmill for that length of time and I’m still trying to figure out if I even liked it. It’s been awhile since I’ve had a good sweat…besides when I woke up from that dream where Andre the Giant was chasing me…buckets of sweat I tell you.

I got bored real easily this time and even while watching my guilty pleasure reality show “Rock of Love 2″ …can you BELIEVE that Ambre lied to Brett…what is that girl thinking! But not even the drama could keep my attention and help me think that I was not on a treadmill.

My only conclusion…I hate exercise. Bottom line. But I hate being out of shape more so I can handle a little boredom now and then. It could be worse…uh right?

So, do you like to exercise? If you do, what is your secret? If you don’t, welcome to the team!

NOTE: If you too are a secret fan of Rock of Love 2 contact me at http://www.lesswendy.org/contact/ we can discuss the finale details! Will Brett find true love this time…I can’t wait to find out!

Finally, we got to open the windows today and let the house air out. I didn’t get an opportunity to go outside because the house was pretty unorganized and although the yard has a million limbs that need picked up I was in the mood to spring clean the closets. Now mind you I have done this before many a times but can’t seem to “let go”  and normally find myself putting 90% of all the crap I don’t use back in the closet. Well today it was time to toss! I had a pile for Goodwill, one for a  yard sale we are having in May, and finally a throw away pile which in the end won out over all of the others. It wasn’t nearly as bad as the psychiatrist said it would be…

That is the tone we are to use when being assertive with someone.  At least that is what the instructor demonstrated in the seminar I attended today. We were told to stand up, inhale through the nose then exhale out the mouth and say “Please pass me the butter”…”I’d like the butter”, “Pass me the butter please.” All of these statements have the same goal in mind…the butter… but it’s all in how we say it that makes people react certain ways.

I squirm in my seat when I hear someone say to a potential unbeliever “Do you know Jesus as your personal savior?”. We need to be assertive in our witnessing to others there is no arguing with that but we must take care in our approach…”You want to go get some coffee?”…”Need help moving?”…”Do you need a ride to work?”. All of these statements have the same goal in mind….Jesus.

“Honesty is such a lonely word.
Everyone is so untrue.
Honesty is hardly ever heard.
And mostly what I need from you.”

Today I’m done lying to myself, my friends and (gulp) my family. Am I going to be mean to my fellow human being…no. Am I going to lose people I thought loved me…likely. Am I going to be free…definitely.  You might ask if I think this will be easy…absolutely not.

So why this change of heart or head? Well, I never want to be in a position where people are not sure where I am coming from. You deserve this! What kind of friend would I be if I was to think one way and say absolutely the opposite out my mouth? I deserve this! To hear it from people who are my friend and have at least a shred of respect for me. Please don’t let my dirty look consume you and then fester…I owe you an explanation even if it was just me wondering why the lights have to be so darn bright.

Did I walk past and you thought I was snubbing you? Tell me! I was probably focused on something and didn’t even realize you were there. Do I have bad breath? For goodness sake lay it on me string bean! Did my kid threaten your toddler? Well that’s not right…I’ll get right on that.

Why do I want to lose weight? For health benefits? That’s what I tell people and oh and I may have mentioned it to myself somewhere along the way…but the simple fact is I want to look hot, feel good about myself, and not have to shop in the “other” section of the clothing store. I hate having to pay extra moolah because the manufacturer had to use another bolt of cloth to cover my ever increasing self. The health benefits are a given and I am choosing that approach when losing  weight but that is not what ultimately puts me on the treadmill or helps me to choose the salad over a big ol’ cheeseburger. I already feel the tension starting to be released from my shoulders….

And finally…

The primary cause of stress, depression and anger is,”living in a story and lying to maintain it” (Radical Honesty) How’s that one slap ya? I still feel the burn because (breathing in to yell) THAT’S EXACTLY WHAT I AM DOING!

How about you? Honestly.